If you want to be a good girlfriend, pay attention to her sexual needs and desires. Low glucose relates to greater aggression in married couples. Express to your girlfriend your feelings for her. Try a few new moves and see how he reacts. James Bauer is one of the world’s leading relationship experts. So when he is going through problems, be there for him. } I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 6 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. So there is the other side of the coin :). Too many women make the mistake of thinking that their partners are invulnerable to pain, precisely because their men. Yes, sex should be about mutual satisfaction. Trust is a good foundation to have as any if you want your relationship to stand the test of time. For many women, learning about the hero instinct was their “aha moment”. By triggering this very natural male instinct, you’ll not only supercharge his confidence as a man but it will also help to rocket your relationship to the next level. If he's sick, bring him soup—don't mention he should wash his hands more often. Being a "good girlfriend" is all about trust and communication. The point is to plan these fun experiences yourself instead of relying on him to plan them all the time. Fix his problems—not him. There was a time before you, and unless you marry each other, there will be a time after you. There will be days when all he wants to do is come home to you and tell you about the horrible day he’s been having. Don’t get me wrong, no doubt your guy loves your strength and abilities to be independent. That said, an everyday effort by one partner changes the relationship for the other partner, potentially influencing the other’s thoughts and behaviors. So pardon me if I don't believe everything they say just because they're old. SHARE ... Help your relationship by keeping a check on your … At the end of the day, the solution to becoming the world’s best girlfriend is simple: be his best friend. But you also need to know that their ego can be very fragile as well. You don’t have to change who you are as a person one bit. Don’t be the notorious partner who constantly has her boyfriend pick between her and his friends. When I keep reading basic findings about life presented as "Scientific Research" it tells me that as a society we don't believe Wisdom from Life Experience has the same validity as people measuring data. Especially for a man, feeling essential to a woman is often what separates “like” from “love”. Soon they'll be singing your praises too. I’m not the most alpha of males. 3. A guy friend recently told me, "When a woman can narrow down what makes me unique, that's. You're already polite and complimentary, but kick up your parental impressions a notch by sending them cards to celebrate their birthdays and bearing baked goods when you visit their homes. Make sex dates. It’s called the hero instinct. I know, you can’t be in the kitchen 24/7. What Do Guys Think of Other Guys' Beards? The physiology of willpower: Linking blood glucose to self-control. Gailliot, M. T., & Baumeister, R. F. (2007). A great starting place is to evaluate your own contributions to your relationship. You have to make time for friends family and your boyfriend. Bedroom action isn’t everything in a relationship, but it is important. And he won’t fully “invest” in you unless you give him a sense of meaning and purpose and make him feel essential. Scientific evidence supports the idea that each partner is responsible for the health of his or her relationship. I talked about this concept above. Have a conversation about what you like and what he likes. From subtle—the keyword here is subtle—PDA, such as a thigh graze during dinner or kiss midstroll, to bragging about his latest work achievement to partygoers, you're signaling to your guy that you think he's tops—and everyone else should too. _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-inverted-source'); What are you doing that helps—or hurts—your relationship happiness? Okay, you don’t have to be a porn star. We’re human beings after all, and we always strive to be a better version of ourselves. It’s not just about making sure you don’t sleep with his friends; it’s about making him feel like he has no reason to feel jealous. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2(2), 138-145. Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. Want to be the very best girlfriend you can be? The hero instinct is probably the best kept secret in relationship psychology. These people have seen him through the good, the bad, and the ugly. The bottom line of this research sounds like something many grandparents would say. Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel important, and to provide for the woman he cares about. Change up your compliments. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 12(2), 313-320. They want to be in charge. Excellent tips that are disregarded by persons in relationships. They don't have to be grand gestures or cost copious amounts of money, because even the tiniest surprises have great ripple effects on your relationship. _g1 = document.getElementById('g1-logo-mobile-inverted-img'); Share in what he loves. I am not commenting on this article but making a general comment. 3. So every now and then, give him a compliment and boost his ego. If he's sick, bring him soup—don't mention he should wash his hands more often. How can you respond to relationship changes? Warn him if it's NSFW, of course, but otherwise most men will appreciate a quick "I can't wait to rip your clothes off tonight." Fix his problems—not him. Trust us, no successful, happy, and mentally healthy person would want to date someone who is 100% invested in the relationship and nothing else. But in essence, you need to build your own life so you’re not relying on your man. And I think there’s one crucial ingredient to relationship success I think many women overlook: Understanding what their guy is thinking at a deep level. This is especially the case if they’re experiencing anxiety or emotional issues. Have spontaneous sex. The best way to ask a girl to be your girlfriend is to try the old-school way and write down a love letter. They’re annoying and impinge on a guy’s freedom. Ad Choices, 10 Easy Ways You Can Step Up Your Girlfriend Game, Have you ever noticed when you're with a really great guy—one who, say, sends you and your mom flowers simply to beat the winter blues—you're compelled to step up your own game and be the best girlfriend or wife this man has ever seen?
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